I have made a decision with regard to my finances and my future.
I will keep a tight rein on my finances, and hopefully have at least $5,000 in in personal savings at the end of 2008.
When I succeed with that, 2009 will hopefully see me embark on a separate career path.
Admittedly, I am terrified.
I have always been terrified of:
(i) Change
(ii) The Unfamiliar
(iii) Failing
Well, this is going to change from now on, starting with item (i), then conquering item (ii).
At this point, I am still working on (iii). It has been hard discovering that I'm really not as good as people thought I would be. It's not so much the surprise that kills me, but more the disappointment that floods my mind and heart every morning. It's a terrible thing disappointing others; it's even more terrible disappointing yourself. Therefore I will strive so very very hard to not fail, but also promise myself that if I fail, I will not dwell on it for more than one day.
However, my obsessive-compulsive side still induces panic attacks when my projects are not going the way I want them to. This side will have to go. I can try to be prepared, but my sphere of control at work is so limited, fretting becomes almost as effective and relevant as blaming myself for singlehandedly inducing global warming.
So what's the deal now?
If anyone needs a copywriter, I could give it a shot. In fact, I could give it a shot for free.
If anyone needs editing help with their work, drop me a mail.
If anyone has recommendations for writing courses, I would be glad to consider them, especially if they're not in the list I have already considered.
I recognise that I need a change, and I'm going to work on it. I will allow for 1.5years to adapt and survive with this change. If I am unable to, I will return - but I will not dwell on it for more than one day.
