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I had to say this:
He can't leave. It was his LIFE and BLOOD. That was never a choice for him.
He never caused it. He changed it from a sucking mechanism to a business model. He made it successful. He stayed when it almost gave its last gasp. He remained by its side. And he revived it.
It's called passion for compassion - something you don't have time/energy for, as you have admittedly said.
Charity, goodwill and kindness are the luxuries of people who eat too much have nothing to do.
I'm afraid that this may one day become the wedge in our friendship.
Posted at 10:53 am by fayeth
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I love this picture. heh. Ingo warriors!
Fronted by a girl =p HEEEEEE
Posted at 06:04 pm by fayeth
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So like we were saying... Last week was hectic.
Work-Camp-Home, set on repeat.
But worth the hassle anyway =p
I'm alot more alive; I guess it was just work and its monotony getting me down (holy crap! Did I promise I'd commit to this??), but I'm feeling like the air is that much more breathable.
Perks of being a returning-non-committed-senior:
(1) You get to bounce around groups
(2) No freshie really knows who you are, so depending on how sociable/brave you are, you could make alot of friends pretending you're a freshie (no, i didn't do that. I'm shy and anti-social)
(3) you realise how much your ex-freshies love you (awwwww......)
(4) You get the biggest luxury of all - SLEEP! muahahaha I got to sleep after chionging+supper, and no one came to wake me up and harrass me for sleeping, becauseI wasn't officially involved anyway. I was KO-ed so badly that I didn't even realise the 2 ppl who were "on the bed with me, so to speak", were able to wake up, leave the room and switch off the lights without my knowledge, which is very uncommon.
So many discoveries made during/after chiong night. Instead of dancing my night away and getting wasted on alcohol from 7-11 (woohoo to VodkaaaA), I spent most of it talking to someone. Same problems in general la. Done to death topic.
The confessions after the done-to-death-topic was much more shocking. For a time, I was drawn out of my the-world-is-wonderful-and-everyone's-nice-and-kind shell, and brought on a cold tour of reality.
Then there was the 2nd 7-11 trip with the girls that opened my eyes further.
And followed by a heart-to-heart with another girl after I woke up.
Suffice to say, my guilt complex is trippin' again. I feel partially responsible for what had happened, but I can't turn back the hands of the clock.
What is the point of a camp?
(1) To introduce the freshmen to campus itself (hence Cluedo on Day 1)
(2) To introduce the freshmen to new freshmen and help them make friends (hence the many games that involve teamwork, the many extra points given to cheering, the embarrassing forfeits for which some lucky forfeitors had the support of their entire group, who joined them in punishment and made collective fools of themselves =))
(3) To introduce freshmen to seniors, who might hopefully be able to help them in any queries they have about their courses (CORS, bidding, module req etc)
By right, it's generally about bonding, camaraderie and fun.
Friends and Fun.
But along the way, some things get lost, and agenda override objectives.
A camp is about making it enjoyable for the freshmen, not about politics.
So what if we weren't poised to win this year.
It was never meant to be about winning.
For all the shit about not having councillors criticising the IC in front of freshies last yr, for all the "respect" we had to show for your decisions last yr, you guys majorly screwed up that whole thing. You guys made it about winning, and in the process, sunk the morale and joy of the whole group. Did you guys even know what it made you seem like?
Complete, utter assholes.
Like another senior from another group told me, I was crying when it came time to leave my juniors. I was sad to leave camp because of the fun we all had. Why do those guys have to screw things up for you guys, and make you feel like leaving the camp sooner?
So while we plan for next year, the objective remains the same - Friends and Fun.
Ingo councillors, I love you guys for being the fun-loving people you are. The one night I spent actually in-camp was more than enough to convince me that you'll never be like the people who tried to bring you down (albeit unintentionally). Next year ok? Next year we show them what fun really is =)
Remind me this again when we get there.
>.<
Girl 1, if you stumble on this blog and you know I'm talking about you, for fuck's sake, stop asking me "Why you so onz about camp?" Just because you hate NUSSU, just because you think NUSSU did wrong by you, just because you think you're so high and mighty, doesn't mean I have to think like you. You keep saying I'm onz about FOCC stuff in such a condescending tone as if I'm a moron for even going, but the truth is, I go there because of the friends I've made, and because i'm made to feel welcome amongst them. You're not. So bugger off.
Girl 2, do you have any ounce of sense? Before proclaiming in public that you were just waiting for Ingo to win, please go and find out some previous-days information first. You embarrassed our Sirius juniors in front of many other people. Don't be surprised that the Sirius juniors didn't want to talk to you. It's little wonder, really.
Posted at 11:08 am by fayeth
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'tis not a very good idea to look at this picture
while listening to Luther Vandross's Dance With My Father. (I'd upload the damned song for you to listen to while looking at that picture too but I'm not home)
Both losses.
One of someone cherished, one of humanity.
Which heaven/hell/god/asshole gave us free will? What damned good is free will?
You fking take the bloody free will away and give us our humanity back, you asshole.
[thanks to daryl sng <link's on the left column> for the picture (no I'm not leeching from him, I took it and uploaded it here) which I think he got from here ] OH bloody bloody HELL.
Posted at 05:55 pm by fayeth
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There're a few people I'd rather not see tonight. They're the major reasons why I refused to join this yr's camp.
So on the happiest night of camp, I shall avoid them like the plague.
Alcohol. Rag Comm '04. Ingo/Sirius. 2 sisters confirmed, 1 pending. (y)
I will not let the rest spoil this night =D
Posted at 01:09 pm by fayeth
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Turn back the clock turn back the clock! =(
Assholes + Bombs = TURN BACK THE FRIGGING CLOCK.
I wonder how Blair will respond to this though, in light of how Dubya totally screwed the whole situation up after 9/11.
And we await more misery and numbers to come =(
Posted at 10:35 am by fayeth
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Keeping this pic very very small.
This is what I look like when I'm really tired.
(1) hair's in a mess, though you can't quite see here
(2) wearing specs instead of contacts (image! where's your image girl!)
(3) wearing OP T-SHIRT. Too lazy to find nice blouses, so wear OP. (Thank goodness for blazers)
(4) little/no makeup. All I could make my hands apply today was powder foundation (bad breakout =() and draw my eyebrows (because they disappeared a little after the foundation)
Realised I'm actually quite lucky.
That a friend would feel comfortable enough with me to tell me (non-erotically) that he has no underwear on.
And to have another friend envelope me in a bear hug the moment we meet.
And to have my Sirius girls demand hugs from me before I left last night. (and one Sirius guy but he's been asking in the background since last year so I assume he's being sarcastic with all the hugging going around)
And Wilfred to send me hunky eye candy (batwings not included)
Posted at 02:05 pm by fayeth
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I know I said I wouldn't go back no matter what but...going back last night made me wanna go back full time for the camp =(
I miss the cheer-till-no-voice cheering
The drastic loss of sleep
The fright night (which'll be tonight!)
The cross-dressing
The bonding (wah the girls really don't change. From Vulcan to Sirius to Ingo, the girls are still singing while walking/running/everywhere. Singing funny songs like Qing Fei De Yi some more...)
My jie-meis (dajie and anthony)
My seniors (Simin, Rena, Xan, Gen, Weisoon)
My juniors (Xiaohui, June, Ginny, Lydia, Joyce, Jane, Tesma in no order of preference)
SP conversation! ji-siaoing the freshies while they talk blindfolded (I recorded some of their conversations! =p I even have a photo of one pair who held hands throughout lol)
The chiong night which I'll try not to miss this year
SENTOSA GAMES. muahahha...singing and cheering in the rain, singing and cheering DESPITE the rain, singing and cheering even in the blardie bus, irritating the shit out of the guys with us.
Most of all, I MISS BEING YOUNG.
These girls are two years younger than me.
These boys are my age, but I feel like they're my little brothers (Rena, what you told me was so true. They really do look like didis even when they're same age as u)
Maybe this was what I needed to get out of my funk. I just needed the company of the happily ignorant freshies to feel alive again. I've shut myself out of so many activities this past year, it's not even funny anymore. It's just painful.
fiona if u're reading this, Roy's in Psycho II, which is headed by one of the oldest laojiaos around. haha. but i didn't get to speak to him last nite =p
In other news, if you're not wearing underwear, I would be glad to remain ignorant of the fact. I don't mind not knowing. Really. So you don't have to tell me if you've got a hole in your shorts, and the only thing that stands between your asshole and the cool cool air out here is the thin lining of your running shorts. I really didn't want to know. Or have it constantly repeated to friends around me. hahahaha...Much as you ARE cute in a goofy way, I don't want to imagine your un-ensconced crown jewels hanging pretty without extra barriers to exposure k? Thank you very much =)
Posted at 10:52 am by fayeth
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Posted at 11:33 am by fayeth
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So that's what happened... A friend told me she's always wanted to do paediatrics.
Then she asked me what I wanted to be when I was young - because surely I couldn't have wanted to be a marketing major all my life?
My reply:
" fucking lawyer.
screw the world over
and take everyone's money"
I did.
I really wanted to be that.
Obviously, some things have changed along the way. =)
Maturity/Laziness "Lawyers world like hell everyday. Every.Single.Day."
Practicality "Ain't gonna get into no law school with grades like mine"
Heart "Money isn't everything. Neither is power. The most important thing is to be happy and to have people around you happy"
It's hard to make everyone happy, isn't it? Anyone here ever tried?
Damn bloody hard right? We're somehow hardwired to be unhappy, because in all that happiness, there must be some unhappiness to yin-yang-balance the whole thing. Like dar once told me, We can't appreciate the sweet without the bitter. or something like that.
So what to do? Be happy lor.
Be happy with my lot in life, whatever that entails. Just cos i didn't dream of doing marketing doesn't mean I have to pick bones with it. I picked the best of what choice I had. I think that's a pretty good lot already, considering how many people don't have a choice at all.
Yeah, I do moan from time to time about stuff, but deep down I know I'm happy with this life. Things do not always go my way - in fact, they usually don't these days. But I know what makes me happy is what I convince myself to make me happy. I'm not lying to myself. I just know it's better for my mental state if I do this.
There's nothing that won't pass. Pain will lessen. Love will fade. Suffering will end eventually. So will laughter. tian xia wu bu san zhi yan xi. There is no wonderful banquet in this world from which we will never rise. All things will come to an end, as will perspective and humanity. So use perspective while you can, and use it to your advantage. Words will ALWAYS carry more than one meaning, and you must be careful to choose the words which will do you good rather than harm.
Win, Lose or Draw, let's all be happy, a'ight? =) Let's just be happy.
Posted at 05:42 pm by fayeth
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